Here’s a list of the common issues I use Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) with when doing individual therapy:
The key element behind anxiety and worry is an intolerance of uncertainty. Over time, our excessive worry becomes persistent, repetitive and uncontrollable. We rush around trying to find solutions, yet we never end up finding any sort of relief. When we worry, we tend to predict that bad things will happen to themselves or other people. These fears may even be based on real events. We try to figure out one or more solutions to what we fear will happen. However, since the “bad” event still hasn’t actually happened yet, we never end up being able to use our solution. As a result, we still continue to feel uncertain and anxious.
Assertiveness & Boundaries
At its core, assertiveness is a way of sharing your thoughts or feelings with others in way that allows both people to be respected and valued. Assertiveness is not the same as being aggressive. Assertiveness ensures that everyone’s rights and points of view are respected while still communicating important information.
Codependency is defined as doing all the work, never getting what you need and suffering all the consequences. Often we just put other peoples’ needs ahead of our own. We never seem to be respected or valued by others, no matter how much we do. Breaking this cycle is critical in order to gain healthy relationships where mutual respect, appreciation and reciprocation can exist between equals. Left unchecked, codependency can cripple us.
Emotional/Verbal Abuse & Toxic Relationships
“You only hurt the ones you love” is the most dangerously subtle statement that exists today. It is hard to understand why our loved ones want to control and dominate us. We cannot understand them because we assume that they think like we do. Instead, they have their own “private logic” which is totally different from how most people view the world. It is important to learn how to be assertive and effectively set boundaries.
“I’m my own worst critic,” we might say in a sudden moment of insight. Learning to be less critical and more compassionate towards ourselves can often be a challenge. Self-compassion involves being aware of our own pain and suffering, and understanding that this is a hard, but normal human experience. Feelings of kindness and care towards ourselves seem almost impossible to accept.
Then there’s self-esteem: People talk about it all the time. Yet somehow, phrases like “I’m a good person” or “I’m worthwhile and valuable” seem disingenuous. These aspects of self-esteem lack two crucial elements: First, they’re not believable. And second, they don’t address the real question, buried down deep: We really do feel that we are unlovable, worthless, or permanently stuck because of who we are.
Regardless of the issue, I’ll help you master the psychological “Mindsets” that successful people use to shift their negative thinking into enhanced productivity, natural confidence, and genuine happiness.