We all want to regain our trust in others. Sometimes, in our urgency to get rid of our uncomfortable feelings, we fall into a few mistakes that actually make things worse. Knowing about the four key mistakes that are made when we work on rebuilding trust will save us unnecessary time and further disappointment.
When attempting to rebuild trust in a relationship, we often make the following mistakes:
Waiting for a sign to tell you it’s OK
The short answer is: Don’t do this. There will NOT be a magical “sign” to tell you it is ok. No one is handing out permission slips that will tell you when it’s safe to trust again. You must make that choice on your own and the sooner, the better.
Waiting for Time to Repair Trust
Time heals all wounds, but it doesn’t restore trust. Why? Because trust is a choice. It must be invited and welcomed by you. The willingness to trust can’t be forced on you. It must be voluntary. This means trust waits for your permission and not for time.
Substituting Control for Trust
Rather than actually trusting, many people seek substitutes that give the illusion of trust. They often try to do that by attempting to control, so they don’t have to actually trust. Unfortunately, this is a useless exercise of frustrating proportions. It doesn’t work, and it will never work. Control can’t replace trust because nothing can substitute for trust. (Read that again: Nothing.)
Navigating by What you Fear
By convincing you it will protect you, fear is like the “mob boss” of the mind. Many fall for its guile and lies and make it their default navigation tool. Alas, like any mob boss, rather than solving a problem, fear itself IS the problem. Therefore, when you navigate through life based on what you fear, your result will be exactly what you have feared.
The opposite of navigating by fear is navigating by trust. The real question that everyone must answer in their lives is this: What do you trust? If you trust fear, then your life will be fearful. If you trust love, then your life will be loving.