Couples many times ask why they are having problems in relating to each other. In fact, one of the most frequently heard phrases in relationships is, “Why don’t you trust me?”
Therapy Resources for Healthy Relationships
Fantasy Affairs of the Mind
Relationships are difficult to manage for many reasons. So it is not unusual that people want to run away from life through “Fantasy Games.” At times, relationships can be threatened by how we relate to each other, other people, the fantasies of our minds, and our actions. When one person in the relationship is concerned […]
Why Are Other People So Incompetent?!
Have you ever noticed how other people seem to get in your way, cause more problems, or just seem to be so stupid and incompetent that it “makes your blood boil?” Having to deal with such people, and situations, is very upsetting. It seems like “there are so many of those incompetent people” out there. […]
The Consequences of Not Having Any Boundaries
We all want to be fair, kind and loving to the people that we care about. Sometimes that means going out of our way for them. At other times, it means putting up with a certain amount of crap. In the long run, we hope and bet on the odds that it’s worth it for our relationship to […]
Wait, I’m not Crazy?! Adults Who Grew Up in Dysfunctional Families
If you grew up in an unhealthy or dysfunctional family, it has drastically and permanently altered the course of your life. It is absolutely vital to understand how, specifically, this affects you so that you can stand a chance to change patterns of unhealthy choices and behaviors that plague you and your adult life.
Why Do People Who Come From Dysfunctional Families Have More Interpersonal Problems?
Dysfunctional families never admit their problems. The rules are simple: Don’t talk, think or feel. As a result, we feels insecure and can only depend on ourselves. In order to survive this lack of trust, we end up creating a rigid way of dealing with life. Yet when we go out into the real world, […]
The Anatomy of Infidelity and Affairs
We tend to think that infidelity and affairs are all about sex. In reality, affairs are symptoms that sends a message about problems in the relationship. The betrayal of trust from one’s spouse or partner can be one of the most damaging issues to any relationship. Perhaps you suspect your partner of having an affair. […]
Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Person?
We sometimes wonder why we get ourselves into difficult relationships that “turn out bad” when they seemed so “promising” at the beginning. Sometimes we notice ourselves continuing to “pick the wrong ones” over and over again and cannot figure out what is happening. Many times we attribute it to the other person and think that […]
Why Gottman Method Couples Therapy Really Works
There are too many myths about what makes a relationship work. Drs. John & Judy Gottman researched this for over 40 years and found the actual, practical relationship issues that actually make a difference. Understanding these essential communication skills and concepts can make the difference between relationship failure or success.
How to Swim with the “Difficult Sharks” in our Lives
No one wants to swim with sharks. Yet difficult people are, by their very nature, sharks: Aggressive, territorial, and tribal. When we unexpectedly find ourselves dealing with a difficult person, we often give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they will “play fair”. In our desire to “get along with others”, we […]
Red Flags and Warning Signs in Modern Relationships
The first step toward improving or enhancing your relationship is to understand what happens when relationships fail.
How to Remove Conflict From Your Relationship
Conflict is inevitable, combat is optional. The truth is that conflict happens in every relationship. It’s a myth that in a happy relationship you’ll get along all the time. What matters is how you talk about issues more than what you fight about.
Mistakes in Rebuilding Trust
We all want to regain our trust in others. Sometimes, in our urgency to get rid of our uncomfortable feelings, we fall into a few mistakes that actually make things worse. Knowing about the four key mistakes that are made when we work on rebuilding trust will save us unnecessary time and further disappointment.
6 Reasons Why We Don’t Implement Changes In Our Lives, and What Can Be Done About It
Why is it so difficult to make changes in our lives? We all talk about it, and some of us will start work on it, but in the end we seem to get stuck in remaining the same. This happens even when we know that it would be best to make certain changes in our […]
8 Marriage Intuitive Clues To Catch a Cheating Spouse (and Save Your Marriage)
Have you ever had a gut feeling that something in your marriage was amiss, but it would take some time for all to sink in right? Well, intuition has always been our best friend. In these days when the internet is rife with all sorts of dating services and adulterous spouses roam about looking to […]
How Not to be Blocked When Doing an Intervention
A.K.A, “Handling Questions Designed to Put You On the Spot and Them Out of the Spot”. Interventions are extremely uncomfortable to do. Your main job is to try to help them to see that they can no longer continue to live in “the denial of the present reality.” Chances are they will get upset and […]
Trust Problems in Dysfunctional Families
Why do some adults have more struggles in life than others? Many times it relates to how dysfunction “entered” their childhood family. Such problems can arise from abuse, neglect, psychological abuse, immature parents, secrets in the family that impact others or an overwhelming sense of insecurity in the home environment. Understanding a few things might […]
How to Make Things Worse by Using Emotions to Solve our Problems
The reason that many people don’t solve problems is that they “personalize” everything that is said to them. They relate what is happening to some fear, some event, past memory, problem, or so forth, from the past that is “evoked” in the present by what another person says. As a result, discussions with people like […]
How to want what you can’t have and keep getting what you don’t want
We tend to have expectations that others should meet our needs or treat us in a certain way. Yet we act surprised when they continually disappoint us. The reality is we need to start paying attention to other people’s patterns of behavior. Acknowledge that everyone has limitations. By understanding how other people behave, either healthy […]
How to Make Sure That No One Can Ever Get Close to You
Why do some people verbally “attack” others in a relationship? When someone’s behavior changes like this to the irrational and bizarre, it is often not due to some unexplained physical or emotional cause. In fact, the real reason is more surprising than you’d think.