TherapyDave
Gottman Certified Therapist in Eugene, Oregon
Because we assume that other people think like we do, we are at risk of missing some critical warning signs. Sadly, these days it’s important not give others the benefit of the doubt unless they have earned it. You need be able to identify the “Red Flags” and “Yellow Flags” of those who lie, cheat, and steal, and worse, without regard for anyone else, as well as the “tactics,” behaviors, or strategies that others may use to “get to you,” hurt you and take what is yours.
Your attitudes and personal values explain your psychological vulnerabilities. Once you’ve pinpointed your Self-Defeating Beliefs, you’ll know exactly why you get upset and when you’re likely to get upset in the future. Negative thoughts may happen when you’re upset, but Self Defeating Beliefs are always present.
The first step toward improving or enhancing your relationship is to understand what happens when relationships fail.
[Read more…] about Red Flags and Warning Signs in Modern RelationshipsConflict is inevitable, combat is optional.
The truth is that conflict happens in every relationship. It’s a myth that in a happy relationship you’ll get along all the time. What matters is how you talk about issues more than what you fight about.
[Read more…] about How to Remove Conflict From Your RelationshipWe all want to regain our trust in others. Sometimes, in our urgency to get rid of our uncomfortable feelings, we fall into a few mistakes that actually make things worse. Knowing about the key mistakes that are made when we work on rebuilding trust will save us unnecessary time and further disappointment.
[Read more…] about Mistakes in Rebuilding Trust