Adult Children take themselves very seriously, are impatient and have problems being flexible. The spontaneous child got squashed many years ago. They even disapprove of others acting silly. They have trouble separating themselves from work. They work hard at figuring out life and proving themselves.
[Read more…] about Taking Ourselves Too Seriously: The Impact of Codependency on Flexibility and HumorCodependency
Inability to Have Fun: How Codependency Hinders Relaxation and Play
Adult Children have the inability to have fun and relax. It is difficult to sit still and relax. There is a need to do something and keep busy constantly. No one played with them or taught them how to play or even what the rules for playing are. They are afraid to take time off to play; they have to be always always pushing forward. They have to put all their efforts into keeping up and pushing ahead. Life is difficult and stressful because it is hard to just sit back and relax and say, “it’s O.K. to just be me.”
[Read more…] about Inability to Have Fun: How Codependency Hinders Relaxation and PlayEmpowering Adult Children to Conquer Task Completion Challenges
Adult children have “Task Completion Challenges,” which means having difficulty following a project from beginning to end. They may have great beginnings but then have problems with full follow-through because they are doing several things at once and trying to do everything. They have problems pacing themselves and their activities, tending to become exhausted with all that they have to do.
The real problem is that they are not procrastinators in the usual sense. They came from homes of an awful lot of promises. No one took the time to sit down and say, “That is a good idea.”
[Read more…] about Empowering Adult Children to Conquer Task Completion ChallengesNavigating Normal: The Struggle of Adult Children
Adult Children struggle with navigating normal; they never feel they know what normal is. They think they know; in fact, they believe they know it better than anyone else, but they are never really sure. Such individuals are actually very practical people who have learned to survive in life on instinct. However, this leaves them feeling insecure about what is really the right way of doing things.
They simply have no experience with what is normal. Growing up, they never had the freedom to ask, so they never knew for sure. Their goal in life is to keep others from finding out that they don’t know. Instead, they have to guess all the time, which ends up being hard, lonely work. They missed out on the discussions with their parents about how to handle things. They have no frame of reference for what is ok to say and to feel.
[Read more…] about Navigating Normal: The Struggle of Adult ChildrenTrust Problems in Dysfunctional Families
Why do some adults have more struggles in life than others? Many times it relates to how dysfunction “entered” their childhood family. Such problems can arise from abuse, neglect, psychological abuse, immature parents, secrets in the family that impact others or an overwhelming sense of insecurity in the home environment. Understanding a few things might help in clarifying this tricky situation.
[Read more…] about Trust Problems in Dysfunctional FamiliesHow to Gain Instant Success by Having No Boundaries
Psychological boundaries are central to personal development and healthy functioning. Sometime the trouble we get into when relating to others involves “blurred, confused, or fused” limits when we, or others, violate the established boundaries. To be healthy, it is vital that we know how to maintain our own, and respect the personal boundaries of others.
[Read more…] about How to Gain Instant Success by Having No Boundaries“Dry Drunk” Behaviors
Addiction of any type is a serious problem. However, effective treatment requires more than “just stopping” the use of drugs or alcohol. The reality is that when someone “just stops” their addiction, many of the behaviors that “got them into trouble” are “still active.” This “dry drunk” lifestyle is still addictive, even though they may have stopped drinking or using drugs. They are addicted to activities and avoiding real intimacy in their relationships by being unavailable to their partner and the family.
[Read more…] about “Dry Drunk” BehaviorsThe Danger of Enmeshed Families
Therapists have long been concerned with helping families develop healthy ways of caring and relating to one another. After all, it’s important that we care for others and are connected to them for healthy growth. However, there are certain types of “caring” that can interfere with healthy growth patterns for all members of the family.
[Read more…] about The Danger of Enmeshed FamiliesHow to Tell if You are a Victim of Verbal and Emotional Abuse
Abusers can be either male or a female. This article is therefore inclusive as the cycle of abuse is the same whether the abuser is a male or a female. These stages of the cycle of abuse are important to know about if you are going to manage your safety.
[Read more…] about How to Tell if You are a Victim of Verbal and Emotional AbuseGrowing Up with Emotional Abuse
When children’s development of self-esteem, social skills or capacity for intimacy is jeopardized by their parents’ behavior or neglect, they may be the victim of emotional abuse. Whether it is alcohol or other drugs, mental illness, compulsive behavior (eating, working, religion, etc.), or any one of a thousand other things that deplete a family’s emotional life, the results are the same.
[Read more…] about Growing Up with Emotional Abuse