I help people repair their relationship with themselves and others. This includes gaining self-compassion, making sense of your feelings and asserting your needs with others. Both individuals and couples fall into this scope. (more…)
I work with people who truly want to get unstuck and make some actual impact in their life goal of being a better version of themselves. My approach to therapy has been influenced greatly by Carl Rogers, Aaron Beck and Pema Chödrön, and the keys to Emotional Flexibility: Acceptance, Compassion and Curiosity. (more…)
Real, permanent change doesn’t happen without help. But you don’t want a therapist who just sits there, nodding and asking during counseling, “How does that make you feel?” You want someone to not only listen, but challenge you to be better. To call you on your B.S., offer direction, and help you become the best version of yourself. That’s all that matters in the end. Otherwise, we’re just stuck feeling stuck.
Therapy does not solve all problems. It will not stop the bad behavior of another person, it cannot make you stop excessively drinking, and it will not overhaul serious personality disorders. Some situations, like responding to domestic abuse, are not issues to simply discuss but rather actions that need to be drastically undertaken. Some behaviors have long, drawn out family history patterns that may be difficult or impossible to modify by simply improving your communication skills or self-esteem. In short, not all problems are worth the time it takes to make a dent in the situation. But yet, with many of life’s challenges, therapy can be a lifesaver.
I come from a multi-generational family of therapists and psychologists, I have grown up in this environment all my life and “breathed the air” of psychology, so to speak. I’ve learned that the hardest part of change for anyone is in understanding the places that scare us.
Insurance & Fees
I am “in-network” and a preferred provider for PacificSource, First Choice Health Network PPO, Kaiser Permanente (“Added Choice”) and Samaritan. You will only be responsible for your copay and any deductible you may have. For all other insurance plans, I can provide you a monthly statement which you can submit to your insurance company for reimbursement using your out-of-network benefits. For information on rates, view the insurance & fees page.
Note: As a result of the pandemic, all counseling sessions are provided exclusively by teletherapy (secure video) from my office in Eugene, Oregon.
You Should NOT Work with Dave if…
- You’re looking for a “Magic Bullet” to change your life without committing to doing any real work on your end.
- You’re not willing to actually practice the new tools and skills you’ll be learning in-between your sessions.
- You’re struggling with serious issues of safety, self-harm or suicide.
- You tend to self-medicate your emotional pain with excessive amounts of alcohol or marijuana.
You’re READY to Work with Dave if…
- You like being challenged to move outside of your comfort zone in order to achieve higher levels of tangible success, rather than just “talking” about things.
- You are willing to make the necessary changes to propel you forward and not wait for others in your life to change first.
- You feel like you’ve gotten as far with your struggles as you can, and are tired of just “maintaining” and keeping your head above water.
- You understand that progress will be challenging at times, but that ultimately dramatic shifts in your life will happen if you commit to change.
Your mileage may vary, but perhaps these will be of use. – Dave
The concepts of boundaries and happiness are closely related even though they are not well understood by most of us. Boundaries are the limits, values, morals and decisions of our lives. They include how we relate to others along with how we remain emotionally and physically healthy. (more…)
If you’re feeling like your life is spinning out of control, it’s time to take charge. But not in the way you think. In fact, before you actually make any changes, you need to begin with being brutally honest with yourself. I don’t mean paying attention to all of the lies you tell yourself about…
Everyone always hears that advice that talking about problems can help. However, most people really believe that it might be best to say as little as possible about most things. As a result, coming to see a psychologist to “talk about issues” is something that many people resist doing until they absolutely have to. Understanding…
I’ve been reading about the Verge’s exposé on American luggage-maker Away’s toxic work environment back in 2019, and even now it’s unnerving. It shows how aggressively we can react with denial when faced with overwhelming evidence about our own dysfunctional behavior. And it’s characteristic of a common human phenomenon: Aggressive bullying and “poorly veiled” hostility.…
We always want change to happen quickly, easily, and without pain. However, the truth of the matter is that change is never as simple or forgiving as you might expect. In order to navigate it without crashing and burning as you struggle, keep in mind these ten simple (but not very easy) rules for change.…
My grandparents grew up during the Great Depression. It changed the way many people coped with life. Which reminds me of this current pandemic, how it’s affecting us, and my grandparent’s vacuum cleaner. (more…)
Our priorities tend to shift during an unexpected crisis, whether we want to our not. And yet the problems of our life can’t remain on hold forever. How do we handle this added anxiety and navigate the issues we continue to face? (more…)
Feelings and emotions are central to being human. Sometimes we enjoy them and at other times we are afraid of them in ourselves and others. Understanding emotions allows us to succeed in the areas that matter most to us: Home life, career, and friendships. Yet this doesn’t work the same for those of us that…
What is a normal way to respond to problems? While this varies from person to person, sometimes our response itself creates and contributes to more of the chaos in our lives. Identifying a few key points may help smooth things along. (more…)
Have you ever noticed how other people seem to get in your way, cause more problems, or just seem to be so stupid and incompetent that it “makes your blood boil?” Having to deal with such people, and situations, is very upsetting. It seems like “there are so many of those incompetent people” out there.…
The dynamics of shame and embarrassment are central issues in the development of the self in those individuals who have come from dysfunctional families. Understanding a few issues can be helpful in making changes so that these fears will lose their great power in your life. (more…)
We all want to be fair, kind and loving to the people that we care about. Sometimes that means going out of our way for them. At other times, it means putting up with a certain amount of crap. In the long run, we hope and bet on the odds that it’s worth it for our relationship to…
Do you feel like a fraud who just “fakes it” and is in danger of being found out? Most adults have struggled through their lives to develop themselves in some way that allows them to function in the world as “normal human beings”. As a result, we have had to overcome our insecurities and “act as if everything…
The theory behind Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is that the way that people perceive situations is more closely connected to their reaction than the situation itself. When people are in psychological distress, they often are not seeing situations very clearly. (more…)
When a member of the family experiences problems, an illness, injury or disability, we tend to forget the impact that any of these problems have on other members of the family. Even short-term crises and problems can drain us as we try to be strong in our efforts to be caring and helpful. (more…)