David Lechnyr, LCSW
Certified Gottman Therapist
David Lechnyr, LCSW is a Certified Gottman Therapist (#436) providing structured, skills-based couples therapy via telehealth in Oregon and Arizona, and Relationship Coaching worldwide. He is one of 13 Certified Gottman Therapists in Oregon and one of 13 in Arizona, among fewer than 500 worldwide. His approach integrates the Gottman Method, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Internal Family Systems to help couples identify destructive patterns and build concrete skills for de-escalation, repair, and communication.
You’re Here Because Something Isn’t Working
Your relationship is stuck in patterns you can see but can’t seem to break. The same conflicts surface with different content. Distance has replaced intimacy. Conversations escalate into fights or shut down into silence. You’ve tried talking it through, reading the books, promising to do better. Nothing has produced lasting change.
Or maybe you’re struggling with relationship issues on your own. Your patterns show up across all your connections. Past relationship damage affects how you show up now. You need skills you were never taught: how to set boundaries without guilt, communicate clearly under stress, regulate your emotions when they spike, repair connection after damage.
But you don’t want another therapist who just sits there and nods, asking “… and how does that make you feel?” You want someone who will help you change your patterns. Someone to hold you accountable and call you on your B.S. when it gets in your way. Someone professional and supportive, yet willing to challenge you toward actual growth and measurable change.
That’s exactly how I work.
How My Approach is Different
Unlike traditional talk therapy that focuses primarily on emotional processing, I combine emotional awareness with structured skill-building based on decades of research. You’ll learn specific, evidence-based techniques that change interaction patterns, not just understand them.
My approach:
- Evidence-based Gottman Method, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Internal Family Systems
- Structured assessment protocols that identify your specific patterns with precision
- Active skill practice with immediate feedback
- Between-session assignments that build new patterns through consistent application
- I’m not a passive listener. I offer direct feedback, call you out when you’re avoiding responsibility, and hold you accountable
Choose Your Path
Couples therapy
Stop the Cycle Before It’s Too Late
Same fight, different words. Research has identified the specific patterns destroying relationships, and the concrete skills that replace them.
For couples who:
- Are stuck in recurring conflicts that keep resurfacing
- Have lost intimacy, connection, or feel like roommates
- Have tried other therapists and left without usable tools
Gottman Method · Telehealth Oregon & Arizona · Relationship Coaching Worldwide
Discover Couples TherapyDiscernment counseling
Gain Clarity When You Don’t Know If You Should Stay or Leave
Brief, structured process for when one or both partners are uncertain about continuing the relationship. No pressure toward any outcome, just clarity.
For couples who:
- Are ambivalent. One or both partners unsure about continuing
- Need clarity before committing to full couples therapy
- Want to make a considered decision rather than an emotional one
Discernment Counseling · Telehealth Oregon & Arizona · Relationship Coaching Worldwide
Explore Stay or GoAffair recovery
What Real Recovery Actually Requires
Infidelity breaks more than trust. Recovery requires addressing the crisis, the underlying vulnerabilities, and a structured path forward, not just forgiveness.
For couples who:
- Are in the immediate aftermath of discovered infidelity
- Want to rebuild, and need to know if that’s actually possible
- Need structure and accountability, not open-ended processing
Gottman-informed Protocol · Telehealth Oregon & Arizona · Relationship Coaching Worldwide
Explore Affair RecoveryIndividual therapy
Get Clear When Everything Feels Impossible
Your relationship is breaking you down. You need skills for boundaries, emotional regulation, and clarity regardless of what your partner does.
For individuals who:
- Are in difficult relationships and need to build their own capacity first
- Need concrete relationship skills they were never taught
- Want clarity about what’s actually happening in their relationship
CBT · IFS · Gottman-informed · Telehealth Oregon & Arizona · Individual Coaching Worldwide
Explore Individual TherapyWhat Clients Are Saying
“After 15 years together, we kept pushing each other’s buttons. David helped us see our patterns and gave us tools to talk without triggering each other. For the first time in years, we feel like partners again.”
– Ted & April, married 15 years
“We’d been to two other therapists and honestly didn’t think counseling worked. It was just us complaining for an hour. With David, we actually learned things we could use at home. We still fight sometimes, but we don’t spiral like we used to. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we actually like each other again.”
– Sarah & Tom, in a relationship 8 years
Frequently Asked Questions
Are you accepting new clients?
Yes. I’m currently accepting new clients for couples therapy and individual counseling. New clients typically begin within 2-4 weeks.
What if my partner isn’t ready for couples therapy?
That’s common. You can start individually to learn skills and gain insights that often help your partner feel safer joining later. Individual work also helps you determine whether relationship issues are about patterns between you or skills you’re missing regardless of who you’re with.
How is this different from other couples counseling?
Most therapy focuses on emotional processing and is based on the therapist’s intuition. The Gottman Method is built on 50 years of research identifying what actually predicts relationship success or failure. Sessions are structured with clear goals. You learn specific skills, practice them, and each session builds toward measurable change rather than endless processing.
How long does therapy take?
Most clients see measurable improvement within the first month when they practice skills between sessions. Essential conflict skills typically take 3-4 months. Comprehensive relationship rebuilding takes 6-12 months. This isn’t open-ended therapy. We’re working toward specific outcomes.
Do you bill insurance?
No. Health insurance does not cover couples therapy or relationship issues. Coverage for mental health services requires a primary psychiatric diagnosis assigned to one individual, and couples therapy does not meet that criteria. This applies regardless of your plan or provider.
Do you offer in-person sessions or only telehealth?
I provide telehealth services throughout Oregon and Arizona via secure video. Most clients find virtual sessions equally effective and more convenient. No commute, easier scheduling for both partners, and the ability to meet from the comfort of your own space.
Do you serve couples in Portland, Phoenix, or Scottsdale?
Yes. I provide telehealth couples therapy and individual therapy to clients throughout Oregon and Arizona, including Portland, Bend, Salem, Eugene, Phoenix, Scottsdale, Mesa, Tempe, and Gilbert. All sessions are conducted via secure video.
Do you work with clients outside Oregon and Arizona?
For licensed therapy, yes, but only with Oregon and Arizona residents. For clients outside those states, Relationship Coaching via secure video is available worldwide. Coaching uses the same structured, skills-based Gottman Method approach and covers the same skill areas. The distinction is the legal framework: Coaching is not a clinical service and is not subject to state licensure restrictions.
Get Started with David Lechnyr
“I’ve had a lot of therapists over the last 17 years and I’ve never had a counselor bring me through this much progress…. ever. Not even close.” – Client review