Discernment Counseling – Making an Informed Decision About Your Relationship’s Future

Get Evidence-Based Clarity Through Specialized Discernment Counseling

It’s 3 AM. Another sleepless night. You’re lying next to someone who used to be your best friend, but now feels like a stranger. The most unsettling part? This pattern will continue until you make an informed decision about your future.

Hi, I’m Dave Lechnyr, LCSW. As a Certified Gottman Therapist, I bring something crucial to your situation: a research-validated system for understanding exactly where your relationship stands and where it could go. The Gottman Method isn’t traditional therapy – it’s a systematic approach based on decades of research that can predict relationship outcomes through specific, observable patterns.

This matters because when you’re making a decision this important, you need more than just another counseling session. You need data-driven insights about your relationship’s patterns, concrete analysis of what’s fixable versus what’s not, and a clear understanding of your potential paths forward.

While most relationship counselors focus on communication techniques or general support, my specialized training allows me to:

• Identify specific patterns that predict relationship outcomes
• Recognize which challenges are solvable versus perpetual
• Understand exactly what needs to change for success
• Help you make decisions based on evidence, not just emotion

Think of it like this: If you needed heart surgery, you wouldn’t go to a general practitioner. You’d want a cardiac specialist who could give you precise information about your condition and clear options for moving forward. The same principle applies to your relationship at this crucial moment.

The Data on Relationship Crossroads

Research shows that couples typically spend 6-8 years thinking about divorce before taking action. During this time:

• 67% report decreased work productivity
• 71% experience symptoms of anxiety or depression
• 85% report negative impacts on their children’s emotional well-being
• 92% feel stuck in a cycle of indecision

You might recognize these patterns:

• Checking their phone when they’re in the shower
• Calculating the financial implications of separation
• Watching your children navigate the tension
• Wondering if you’re modeling dysfunction for your kids
• Questioning every interaction and decision

A Research-Based Approach to Clarity

Through over 50 years of empirical research, Dr. John Gottman identified specific patterns that determine relationship outcomes with 95% accuracy. As a Certified Gottman Therapist, I use this evidence-based approach alongside structured Discernment Counseling to help couples gain clarity.

Real Outcomes: Beyond Simple Success Stories

Let me share three different outcomes from recent clients:

• Case Study 1: The Skeptical Executive:
  “I had already signed a lease on a new apartment. My wife’s therapist recommended ‘one last try’ with Dave. Two years later, we’re still together, but more importantly, we understand why we’re together. The systematic approach and individual sessions made the difference.” – Michael, Tech Executive
• Case Study 2: The Ambivalent Professional
  “After 12 years and two kids, I was convinced divorce was inevitable. The individual sessions revealed patterns we’d never noticed. While we ultimately decided to separate, we did so with understanding rather than anger. Today, we’re successfully co-parenting and both agree this process was crucial.” – Rachel, Healthcare Administrator
• Case Study 3: The Resistant Partner
  “I only came because my wife had already paid. Expected more therapy clichés. Instead, got concrete insights about our patterns. We were sleeping in separate rooms for 7 months before this. Last week, we took our first vacation in two years.” – Thomas, Business Owner

Program Qualification Criteria

This program is optimal for:

• Couples seeking clarity rather than traditional therapy
• Relationships where one partner is uncertain about continuing
• Situations requiring structured decision-making
• Couples with children considering their family’s future
• High-achieving professionals seeking an evidence-based approach

This is not appropriate for situations involving:

• Active substance abuse requiring primary treatment
• Domestic violence or coercive control
• Couples seeking traditional open-ended therapy

How to Talk to Your Resistant Partner

Here are the exact words that worked for other couples:

• For the “Nothing Will Help” Partner: “I found someone different – he specializes in couples where one person is skeptical. He doesn’t do endless therapy. Just 6 sessions to get clarity. Would you try just one session? If you don’t feel heard, we don’t continue.”
• For the “We Can Fix It Ourselves” Partner: “We’ve been trying to fix this ourselves for [X] months/years. I respect that you want to handle this privately. This person helps couples make decisions – not just endless talking. Six sessions, then we know.”
• For the “Therapy Is Stupid” Partner: “This isn’t traditional therapy. He works specifically with couples where one person thinks it’s pointless. Most of his clients start skeptical. Would you be willing to prove me wrong for just one session?”