TherapyDave
Gottman Couples Therapy & Individual Counseling in Eugene, Oregon
The secret to a long-lasting relationship is not just luck or chemistry. Research from Dr. John Gottman has identified a simple but powerful formula, grounded in rigorous scientific study. The essence is straightforward: for every negative interaction you have, aim for at least five positive ones. When you get this balance right, your relationship can thrive. But what does this …
Continue Reading about The No-Nonsense Guide to Improving Your Relationship: The 5:1 Ratio Unpacked
If you grew up in an unhealthy or dysfunctional family, it has drastically and permanently altered the course of your life. It is absolutely vital to understand how, specifically, this affects you so that you can stand a chance to change patterns of unhealthy choices and behaviors that plague you and your adult life. Left unchecked, these patterns can drastically sabotage …
Continue Reading about Wait, I’m not Crazy?! Adults Who Grew Up in Dysfunctional Families
Let me be real clear: You don’t stay in a relationship because you feel bad. That’s not doing anybody any favors. You’re not helping them, and you’re certainly not helping yourself. If this feels familiar, you’re probably stuck in this pattern because you’re avoiding the discomfort of making a hard decision. …
Watching a family member fall under the influence of a narcissistic individual is a uniquely painful experience. It's like losing someone while they're still alive, leaving you questioning your reality and grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. If you're going through this, know that you're not alone. This article aims to validate your experience, help you recognize the signs …
In many relationships, a recurring concern is the lack of trust, leading to the common question, "Why don't you trust me?" This reflects a fundamental problem in a relationship without trust, where cycles of doubt and misunderstanding erode the bond between partners. Addressing this lack of trust is essential for a secure and healthy connection. …
Continue Reading about Without Trust, Your Relationship Will Not Survive the Year
Have you ever noticed how other people seem to get in your way, cause more problems, or just seem to be so stupid and incompetent that it “makes your blood boil?” Having to deal with such people, and situations, is very upsetting. It seems like “there are so many of those incompetent people” out there. Understanding how to deal with these situations is critical to your own …
Continue Reading about Why Are Other People So Incompetent?!
Infidelity can shatter the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners struggling to find a path forward. This comprehensive guide offers a straightforward approach to understanding the impact of affairs and rebuilding trust, drawing on principles from the Gottman Method and other evidence-based practices in couples therapy. …
Continue Reading about Rebuilding Trust After an Affair: A Comprehensive Guide
We tend to think that infidelity and affairs are all about sex. In reality, affairs are symptoms that sends a message about problems in the relationship. The betrayal of trust from one's spouse or partner can be one of the most damaging issues to any relationship. Perhaps you suspect your partner of having an affair. Understanding this simple issue will allow you to work on …
When we are upset over something with our partner, we tend to know very clearly what we don't want. Understanding what we really desire without describing what we dislike can propel communication between partners in a more positive, mutual satisfying direction. …
Continue Reading about How to Say What We Need From our Partner
We often ponder why we find ourselves in challenging relationships that "go sour" despite their initially "promising" nature. Frequently, we find ourselves choosing the wrong person repeatedly, puzzled by this pattern. Often, we blame the other individual, believing the world is filled with "wrong people," leading us to think we should either "avoid relationships altogether" or …
Continue Reading about Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Person?
After many years together, you might think you've got this relationship thing figured out. You can predict each other's responses, finish each other's sentences, and probably even know exactly how your next argument will play out. But sometimes that predictability is part of the problem. …
Continue Reading about Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness & Stonewalling
So you've finally got your ADHD medication sorted out. Maybe you're thinking "Great! Everything should be perfect now, right?" But then you still can't find your keys, or you're late to appointments, or your brain feels like a browser with 100 tabs open. Don't worry - you're not alone, and you're not doing anything wrong. Quick Note Before We Start This guide is written …
Continue Reading about Living with ADHD: Real Skills for Real Life (Even When You’re Medicated)
Have you ever noticed how one part of you reacts, while another feels, and a third part is deeply concerned about what's going on? This is the essential approach of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a groundbreaking therapy that's transforming how we understand and heal ourselves. We all have these internal conversations – these different "parts" of ourselves that seem to want …
Continue Reading about IFS: How Talking to Your “Parts” Can Change Your Life
