From Frustration to Connection: For Couples Ready to Change

If these thoughts sound familiar, you’ve reached a crucial turning point:

• “We keep having the same argument over and over.”
• “I feel like we’re roommates, not partners.”
• “We love each other, but we don’t know how to fix this.”

The fact that you’re both here, looking for help, is the first sign that meaningful change is possible. Unfortunately, most couples wait six years too long before seeking help. You’re making a different choice — and that choice alone sets you apart.

What Sets Successful Couples Apart

As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Eugene, Oregon and one of the few Certified Gottman Therapists in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve helped hundreds of couples transform frustration into connection by focusing on what actually works.

My most successful clients share these qualities:

• They’re both genuinely invested in improving their relationship
• They recognize their own contributions to difficult patterns
• They’re willing to practice new skills between sessions
• They understand meaningful change takes consistency
• They still see potential in their relationship, despite the challenges

These qualities matter more than the specific issues you’re facing. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, trust issues, or growing emotional distance, your readiness to engage in the process is what makes transformation possible.

The Challenges We Can Address Together

Couples who succeed in my practice often come in with challenges like:

• Conversations that quickly escalate into hurtful arguments
• Feeling emotionally distant or disconnected from each other
• Rebuilding trust after a betrayal
• Finding yourselves in the same negative cycles despite your best efforts
• One partner feeling overburdened with relationship responsibilities
• Important needs going unexpressed or unmet

These patterns create real pain, but they’re also opportunities for profound growth and reconnection when you have the right guidance and tools.

Discover Where Your Relationship Stands

Before diving into solutions, understanding your current relationship dynamics is essential. Many couples find it helpful to gain clarity on exactly where they stand.

Take this quick assessment to identify your relationship’s strengths and opportunities for growth. In just a few minutes, you’ll gain valuable insights into:

• Your communication patterns
• Areas of disconnect that may be undermining your connection
• Strengths you can build upon
• Specific focus areas for improvement

Both partners completing this assessment separately often reveals important perspectives that can jumpstart your progress together.

A Different Approach That Creates Lasting Change

You may have tried weekly therapy sessions before, only to find yourselves sliding back into old patterns between appointments. That’s because lasting change requires more than just talking about your issues once a week.

My structured approach includes:

1. Comprehensive Assessment: I’ll help you understand the specific patterns that keep you stuck, using research-backed assessment tools that reveal what’s really happening
2. Shared Vision Creation: We’ll clarify what you both want to build together, creating a roadmap for your relationship’s future
3. Practical Skill Building: You’ll learn concrete communication and conflict management tools you can use immediately
4. Pattern Disruption: We’ll directly address the negative cycles that keep pulling you back into disconnection
5. Connection Strengthening: Beyond just fixing problems, we’ll rebuild the friendship, intimacy, and appreciation at the heart of your relationship
6. Maintenance Planning: You’ll develop strategies to sustain your progress, even when challenges arise

Is This Right for You?

The couples who benefit most from my approach:

• Are both willing to look at their own contributions to patterns
• Can make time to practice new skills between sessions
• Are open to feedback and gentle accountability
• Understand that meaningful change develops over time
• Still have hope for what your relationship could become

If you’re experiencing enough difficulty to be motivated for change, but still believe in your relationship’s potential, we can work together to create the connection you both desire.

Client Experiences

After 15 years together, we were experts at pushing each other’s buttons. Dave helped us see our negative patterns and gave us practical tools to communicate without triggering each other. For the first time in years, we feel like partners again.” – Couple, married 15 years

We came in feeling like roommates instead of spouses. The structured approach helped us rebuild our friendship and intimacy in ways we didn’t think were possible anymore.” – Couple, together 8 years

Ready to Move Forward Together?

The fact that you’re reviewing this page is significant. It shows you’re willing to take steps toward change. If you’re ready, the next step is an initial Discovery Session. We’ll discuss your specific relationship dynamics, determine if my approach is the right fit for your needs, and take the first step toward the relationship you both deserve.