If these thoughts sound familiar, you’ve reached a crucial turning point:
- “We keep having the same argument over and over.”
- “I feel like we’re roommates, not partners.”
- “We love each other, but we don’t know how to fix this.”
The fact that you’re both here, looking for help, is the first sign that meaningful change is possible. Unfortunately, most couples wait six years too long before seeking help. You’re making a different choice, and that choice alone sets you apart.
What Sets Successful Couples Apart
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Eugene, Oregon and one of the few Certified Gottman Therapists in the Pacific Northwest, I’ve helped hundreds of couples transform frustration into connection by focusing on what actually works.
My most successful clients share these qualities:
- They’re both genuinely invested in improving their relationship
- They recognize their own contributions to difficult patterns
- They’re willing to practice new skills between sessions
- They understand meaningful change takes consistency
- They still see potential in their relationship, despite the challenges
These qualities matter more than the specific issues you’re facing. Whether you’re dealing with communication breakdowns, trust issues, or growing emotional distance, your readiness to engage in the process is what makes transformation possible.
The Challenges We Can Address Together
Couples who succeed in my practice often come in with challenges like:
- Conversations that quickly escalate into hurtful arguments
- Feeling emotionally distant or disconnected from each other
- Rebuilding trust after a betrayal
- Finding yourselves in the same negative cycles despite your best efforts
- One partner feeling overburdened with relationship responsibilities
- Important needs going unexpressed or unmet
These patterns create real pain, but they’re also opportunities for profound growth and reconnection when you have the right guidance and tools.
Discover Where Your Relationship Stands
Before diving into solutions, understanding your current relationship dynamics is essential. Many couples find it helpful to gain clarity on exactly where they stand.
Take this quick assessment to identify your relationship’s strengths and opportunities for growth. In just a few minutes, you’ll gain valuable insights into:
- Your communication patterns
- Areas of disconnect that may be undermining your connection
- Strengths you can build upon
- Specific focus areas for improvement
Both partners completing this assessment separately often reveals important perspectives that can jumpstart your progress together.
A Different Approach That Creates Lasting Change
You may have tried weekly therapy sessions before, only to find yourselves sliding back into old patterns between appointments. That’s because lasting change requires more than just talking about your issues once a week.
My structured approach includes:
- Comprehensive Assessment: I’ll help you understand the specific patterns that keep you stuck, using research-backed assessment tools that reveal what’s really happening
- Shared Vision Creation: We’ll clarify what you both want to build together, creating a roadmap for your relationship’s future
- Practical Skill Building: You’ll learn concrete communication and conflict management tools you can use immediately
- Pattern Disruption: We’ll directly address the negative cycles that keep pulling you back into conflict and disconnection
- Connection Strengthening: Beyond just fixing problems, we’ll rebuild the friendship, intimacy, and appreciation at the heart of your relationship
- Maintenance Planning: You’ll develop strategies to sustain your progress, even when challenges arise
What is your training in relationship and couples counseling?
In terms of my training and philosophy about working with couples, my strongest influences are from Drs. John & Julie Gottman’s Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy. I am one of a handful of Certified Gottman Therapists in the area, and the only one located in Eugene, Oregon. I became a Certified Gottman Therapist in 2021 and have been a practicing psychotherapist for over 20 years.
Do you provide marathon couples counseling sessions?
No. I’ve found that these types of intensive sessions tend to set the stage for one or both partners to become more triggered/flooded, and that time is needed for the couple to work on, and integrate, their new skills in-between sessions. This also gives us a chance to fine-tune our approach together.
Couples and Relationship Counseling Fees
- $270 for 45 minutes
- $300 for 60 minutes
- $340 for 75 minutes (*required for first three assessment sessions)
- $460 for 90 minutes
If cost is a concern, I generally find that meeting every other week works best.
Is This Right for You?
The couples who benefit most from my approach:
- Are both willing to look at their own contributions to patterns
- Can make time to practice new skills between sessions
- Are open to feedback and gentle accountability
- Understand that meaningful change develops over time
- Still have hope for what your relationship could become
If you’re experiencing enough difficulty to be motivated for change, but still believe in your relationship’s potential, we can work together to create the connection you both desire.
Client Experiences
After 15 years together, we were experts at pushing each other’s buttons. Dave helped us see our negative patterns and gave us practical tools to communicate without triggering each other. For the first time in years, we feel like partners again.
– Ted & April, together 15 years
We came in feeling like roommates instead of spouses. The structured approach helped us rebuild our friendship and intimacy in ways we didn’t think were possible anymore.
– Sarah & Michael, married 8 years
Do you offer a free consultation?
Not currently. I’ve found that when people are in a place where they’re ready for change, consultations typically just get in the way. That’s why I’ve provided more detail on my website than most therapists along with a short video or two to give you a chance to get some initial exposure to my approach and style.
Ready to Move Forward Together?
The fact that you’re reviewing this page is significant. It shows you’re willing to take steps toward change. If you’re ready, the next step is to schedule an initial appointment. We’ll discuss your specific relationship dynamics, determine if my approach is the right fit for your needs, and take the first step toward the relationship you both deserve.
