If these thoughts sound familiar, you’re in the right place:
- “We keep having the same argument over and over.”
- “I feel like we’re roommates, not partners.”
- “We love each other, but we don’t know how to fix this.”
I’m David Lechnyr, LCSW, a Certified Gottman Therapist providing couples therapy across Oregon and Arizona through secure telehealth. For over 20 years, I’ve helped couples break the patterns that keep them stuck.
The fact that you’re here means you’re ready for something different. Most couples wait six years too long before seeking help. You’re making a different choice. That choice sets you apart.
You’re not alone. Here’s what typically happens when couples try therapy elsewhere:
Why Most Couples Stay Stuck
Many couples try therapy only to walk away frustrated. Traditional couples counseling often leads to:
- Endless talking without real solutions
- Insights that sound good but do not create change
- Circular conversations that go nowhere
- Leaving sessions feeling more disconnected
The truth is that insight alone does not change relationships. Skills and accountability do.
My Approach to Relationships
As the only Certified Gottman Therapist in Lane County (and one of the few in Oregon and Arizona), I use a structured, research-based approach to help your relationship get back on track. Every session has a purpose, every step builds on the last, and you will always leave knowing exactly what to practice at home.ons.
Couples who succeed with me learn how to:
- Break destructive cycles of conflict
- Rebuild trust and respect
- Communicate without every conversation turning into a fight
- Handle stress without turning on each other
- Reconnect emotionally and physically
Take the First Step Towards Change
Not sure where to begin? The Relationship Snapshot is a free tool that gives you quick insight into your relationship’s strengths and stress points. It only takes a few minutes and can help you see where things stand today.
The Three Steps
Here’s the exact approach I use to help couples ultimately change their relationship patterns:
Step 1: Stop the Bleeding
When every conversation turns into a fight, you need relief fast. What you’ll learn:
- The toxic patterns that destroy relationships and how they show up in your fights.
- How to bring up problems without starting a war.
- The tools that let you recover quickly after conflict.
Result: You’ll stop spiraling into blowups and finally have conversations where both of you feel heard.
Step 2: Rebuild Your Foundation
When the daily battles ease up, you can finally breathe and remember who you chose and why. What you’ll learn:
- How to create trust and connection.
- How to influence your partner without controlling them.
- Why your partner’s feelings about their feelings matter more than you think.
- Why some fights happen over and over again.
Result: You begin enjoying each other again and look forward to spending time together.
Step 3: Create Your Future Together
With friendship restored and trust rebuilt, you can create something extraordinary. What You’ll Learn:
- The hidden dreams behind your biggest arguments.
- How to show up emotionally so your partner feels truly known.
- When to compromise and when compromise destroys connection.
- How to reignite emotional and physical intimacy.
Result: You’ll create a relationship that is stronger and more passionate than you imagined possible.
Why This Works
- Research based methods from the Gottman Institute
- Specialized focus on couples rather than individual therapy
- Structured process with clear steps and goals
- Accountability that makes skills stick for the long term
Who This Is For
This approach is right for couples who:
- Are both willing to look at their own role in negative cycles
- Can practice new skills between sessions
- Are open to feedback and gentle accountability
- Still see potential in their relationship, even if things feel hard
Client Results
After 15 years together, we kept pushing each other’s buttons. David helped us see our negative patterns and gave us practical tools to communicate without triggering each other. For the first time in years, we feel like partners again.
Ted & April, together 15 years
We’d been to two other therapists and honestly didn’t think counseling worked. It was just us complaining for an hour. With David, we actually learned things we could use at home. We still fight sometimes, but we don’t spiral like we used to. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we actually like each other again.
Sarah & Tom, together 8 years
Frequently Asked Questions about Couples Therapy
What happens in the first couples therapy session?
The first session focuses on understanding your relationship history and your most pressing challenges. You will share your goals, and I will explain how the process works so you know what to expect moving forward.
How long does couples therapy usually take?
Many couples start noticing changes within the first month, especially when they practice the skills between sessions. The overall timeline depends on your specific goals and level of commitment.
What is the Gottman Method and why does it matter?
The Gottman Method is a research-based approach developed over 50 years of studying thousands of couples. It gives you practical tools and strategies to improve communication, rebuild trust, and deepen intimacy.
What if my partner is reluctant to try therapy?
This is common. Many reluctant partners engage once they realize the approach is practical and focused on skills rather than blame. Even trying one session often changes their perspective.
How is this different from other types of couples counseling?
Instead of endless processing or venting, sessions are structured with clear goals. You will learn and practice specific tools, and each step builds toward lasting change.
Ready to Move Forward?
The longer negative patterns continue, the harder they are to break. Divorce can cost tens of thousands of dollars and years of pain. Doing nothing costs the best years of your relationship.
The alternative is to take action now. Learn the exact skills to stop destructive fights, rebuild trust, and feel like a team again.
The next step is simple. Schedule your initial appointment today. We will look at your specific relationship dynamics, determine if this approach is the right fit, and help you take the first step toward lasting change.