David Lechnyr, LCSW

David Lechnyr, LCSW, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Certified Gottman Therapist (#436). The Gottman Institute has awarded the Certified Gottman Therapist credential to 621 clinicians worldwide; he is one of roughly a dozen listed on the Gottman Referral Network in each of Oregon and Arizona. He provides structured, skills-based couples therapy via telehealth in Oregon and Arizona, based in Portland, and relationship coaching worldwide, integrating the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), and Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy (CBCT). He works with couples navigating recurring conflict, emotional disconnection, communication breakdown, and relationship ambivalence. He is the author of Personality Patterns in Couples Therapy, a framework for clinicians on recognizing relational patterns in couples work, and How to Screw Up Your Relationship in Ten Easy Steps, a field guide for couples on the patterns that quietly erode connection. New clients begin with an initial consultation.

Important Business Books for Therapists

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Starting up a private practice as a counselor or therapist can be overwhelming, intimidating, and often a huge financial risk. Taking steps to mitigate the dangers involved demands approaching things from a business perspective. The dilemma is that this is the anthesis of what we consider a genuine therapist should be. Finding a way to blend business skills with the therapist mindset and ethics is the key.

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When “Are You Angry?” Becomes a Fight: Why Emotional Labels Shut Down Conversations

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Couple having difficult conversation showing how emotional labels create defensiveness and communication breakdown

You’re trying to understand your partner. You notice tension, maybe a shift in their tone or body language. So you ask what seems like a reasonable question: “Why are you angry?” Instead of opening a conversation, you just slammed a door. Your partner insists they’re not angry. Now you’re both arguing about whether they’re angry … Read more

When Every Small Thing Becomes a Fight: Breaking the Cycle Before It Breaks You

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Couple sitting on opposite ends of couch looking away from each other showing emotional distance and relationship conflict

You know that feeling when your partner forgets to text back and suddenly you’re convinced they don’t care anymore? Or when they explain why they didn’t do the dishes and all you hear is excuses? Welcome to what relationship researchers call negative sentiment override. It’s the relationship equivalent of wearing glasses that filter out anything … Read more

The Unofficial History of SimplePractice (EHR)

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SimplePractice is a electronic health records system (or “practice management software”) used by therapists and wellness professionals to handle scheduling, billing, and client records. Initially designed for solo practitioners, it hasn’t been without its growing pains. What follows is the lesser-known yet essential history behind this influential product.

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When “I Love You” Becomes “I Control You”: Recognizing Relationship Manipulation in Midlife

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Professional woman in her 50s standing confidently on urban balcony at sunset, representing independence and recovery from toxic relationship patterns in midlife

You meet someone who seems like everything you’ve been hoping for. The conversations flow easily. They’re articulate, accomplished, interesting. You can picture a future together, maybe blending families, traveling, building something meaningful as you enter this new chapter of life. Then the pattern starts. They leave when you don’t meet an expectation you didn’t know … Read more