If your partner is upset at you and you react, you might be right. You’ve got every right to be upset. However, imagine you’ve got a child. They fall off their bicycle and they scream bloody murder, and you run up to them and they say, “Kill all the bicycles. Bikes are evil. Kill the … Read more
Childhood wounds affect your relationship in this way: Imagine you grew up being uber controlled. Your parents had a say in everything. You weren’t even allowed to have friends, so much so that your best friend was an AM radio. You were a latchkey kid, and you were essentially controlled in every aspect of your … Read more
You’re trying to understand your partner. You notice tension, maybe a shift in their tone or body language. So you ask what seems like a reasonable question: “Why are you angry?” Instead of opening a conversation, you just slammed a door. Your partner insists they’re not angry. Now you’re both arguing about whether they’re angry … Read more
You know that feeling when your partner forgets to text back and suddenly you’re convinced they don’t care anymore? Or when they explain why they didn’t do the dishes and all you hear is excuses? Welcome to what relationship researchers call negative sentiment override. It’s the relationship equivalent of wearing glasses that filter out anything … Read more
You meet someone who seems like everything you’ve been hoping for. The conversations flow easily. They’re articulate, accomplished, interesting. You can picture a future together, maybe blending families, traveling, building something meaningful as you enter this new chapter of life. Then the pattern starts. They leave when you don’t meet an expectation you didn’t know … Read more