If you spent your childhood walking on eggshells, managing a parent’s moods, or feeling like your family was fundamentally different from everyone else’s, the traits you developed to survive that environment didn’t disappear when you grew up. This article, written by David Lechnyr, LCSW and Certified Gottman Therapist, explains the most common patterns that develop in adults raised in chaotic or emotionally unsafe households, and why recognizing them is the first step toward change.
The Power Paradox: Why Accepting Your Partner’s Influence Strengthens Your Relationship
What Is Accepting Influence in Relationships? Accepting influence means finding common ground with your partner and saying yes to their ideas, even when you only agree with part of what they’re saying. The Gottman Institute’s …
When Your Partner Can’t Hear You Anymore: The Hidden Pattern Destroying Conversations
Three hours. That’s how long Sarah found herself trapped in the same argument with her husband on a Tuesday night. She’d launched into explaining her frustration about their weekend plans, and somehow they’d spiraled into …
How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved: A Gottman Method Exercise for Building Fondness and Admiration
Most couples know what makes them feel criticized or dismissed by their partner. You can probably rattle off a list without even thinking about it. But here’s what’s interesting: When I ask couples to tell …
When “Are You Angry?” Becomes a Fight: Why Emotional Labels Shut Down Conversations
You’re trying to understand your partner. You notice tension, maybe a shift in their tone or body language. So you ask what seems like a reasonable question: “Why are you angry?” Instead of opening a …