Everyone always hears that advice that talking about problems can help. However, most people really believe that it might be best to say as little as possible about most things. As a result, coming to see a psychologist to “talk about issues” is something that many people resist doing until they absolutely have to. Understanding a few issues can help with this important task.[Read more…] about I Don’t Want to Be Here: Talking Only Makes it Worse!
Couples many times ask why they are having problems in relating to each other. Psychologists know that the real problem are many time more complex than just one issue. However, the issue of trust is central to any relationship. Understanding a couple of issues can be of help.[Read more…] about Without Trust, Your Relationship Will Not Survive
Relationships are difficult to manage for many reasons. So it is not unusual that people want to run away from life through “Fantasy Games.” At times, relationships can be threatened by how we relate to each other, other people, the fantasies of our minds, and our actions. When one person in the relationship is concerned about the “interpersonal relating aspects” of the marriage, and the other is not as focused on it, then a number of issues have to be considered.[Read more…] about Fantasy Affairs of the Mind
It’s important to feel that our partner notices or responds to our needs. This is referred to as “Turning Towards” ones’ “Bids for Connection” in the Gottman literature. Bids for connection include attempts to get our partner’s attention, interest, or support.[Read more…] about How to Turn Towards a Partner’s Bids for Emotional Connection
I’ve been reading about the Verge’s exposé on American luggage-maker Away’s toxic work environment back in 2019, and even now it’s unnerving. It shows how aggressively we can react with denial when faced with overwhelming evidence about our own dysfunctional behavior. And it’s characteristic of a common human phenomenon: Aggressive bullying and “poorly veiled” hostility.[Read more…] about The Secret Bullying Behaviors of Others
We always want change to happen quickly, easily, and without pain. However, the truth of the matter is that change is never as simple or forgiving as you might expect. In order to navigate it without crashing and burning as you struggle, keep in mind these ten simple (but not very easy) rules for change.[Read more…] about The Ten Simple (But Not Easy) Rules for Navigating Change