Self-Help Articles

Boundaries, Happiness and Living in the Now

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW – Last Updated April 12, 2021

The concepts of boundaries and happiness are closely related even though they are not well understood by most of us. Boundaries are the limits, values, morals and decisions of our lives. They include how we relate to others along with how we remain emotionally and physically healthy.

To Take Control of your Life, Start by Being Brutally Honest with Yourself

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW – Last Updated March 5, 2021

If you’re feeling like your life is spinning out of control, it’s time to take charge. But not in the way you think. In fact, before you actually make any changes, you need to begin with being brutally honest with yourself. I don’t mean paying attention to all of the lies you tell yourself about your self-worth or your limitations. Instead, you have to know what you’re feeling, without spinning out of control in a panic. Trust me – this will feel worse before it gets better. But in the end, you’ll gain the critical skill of self-awareness that will ultimately change everything in your entire approach to life.

I Don’t Want to Be Here: Talking Only Makes it Worse!

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW – Last Updated March 5, 2021

Everyone always hears that advice that talking about problems can help. However, most people really believe that it might be best to say as little as possible about most things. As a result, coming to see a psychologist to “talk about issues” is something that many people resist doing until they absolutely have to. Understanding a few issues can help with this important task.

Without Trust, Your Relationship Will Not Survive

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW – Last Updated March 5, 2021

Couples many times ask why they are having problems in relating to each other. Psychologists know that the real problem are many time more complex than just one issue. However, the issue of trust is central to any relationship. Understanding a couple of issues can be of help.

Fantasy Affairs of the Mind

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW – Last Updated March 5, 2021

Relationships are difficult to manage for many reasons. So it is not unusual that people want to run away from life through “Fantasy Games.” At times, relationships can be threatened by how we relate to each other, other people, the fantasies of our minds, and our actions. When one person in the relationship is concerned about the “interpersonal relating aspects” of the marriage, and the other is not as focused on it, then a number of issues have to be considered.

How to Turn Towards a Partner’s Bids for Emotional Connection

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW – Last Updated March 5, 2021

It’s important to feel that our partner notices or responds to our needs. This is referred to as “Turning Towards” ones’ “Bids for Connection” in the Gottman literature. Bids for connection include attempts to get our partner’s attention, interest, or support.