Personality Patterns in Couples Therapy

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Title: Personality Patterns in Couples Therapy: A Relational Framework for Understanding Personality DisordersLast updated: May 17, 2026 Audience and scope note This document is written for mental health clinicians, relationship therapists, and advanced trainees who work with couples and want a clearer way to recognize stable personality patterns that shape relational dynamics. This framework is … Read more

Wait, I’m not Crazy?! Adults Who Grew Up in Dysfunctional Families

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Adult woman sitting at a sunlit kitchen table with a coffee mug, reflecting on patterns from a dysfunctional family upbringing

If you spent your childhood walking on eggshells, managing a parent’s moods, or feeling like your family was fundamentally different from everyone else’s, the traits you developed to survive that environment didn’t disappear when you grew up. This article, written by David Lechnyr, LCSW and Certified Gottman Therapist, explains the most common patterns that develop in adults raised in chaotic or emotionally unsafe households, and why recognizing them is the first step toward change.

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The Power Paradox: Why Accepting Your Partner’s Influence Strengthens Your Relationship

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Two partners sitting at a table leaning toward each other in engaged conversation, demonstrating accepting influence through attentive listening and open body language

What Is Accepting Influence in Relationships? Accepting influence means finding common ground with your partner and saying yes to their ideas, even when you only agree with part of what they’re saying. The Gottman Institute’s research reveals a counterintuitive truth: To hold genuine power in a relationship, you must be willing to share that power. … Read more

When Your Partner Can’t Hear You Anymore: The Hidden Pattern Destroying Conversations

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Couple experiencing demand-withdraw communication pattern sitting on opposite ends of couch showing emotional distance and disconnection

Three hours. That’s how long Sarah found herself trapped in the same argument with her husband on a Tuesday night. She’d launched into explaining her frustration about their weekend plans, and somehow they’d spiraled into every unresolved issue from the past six months. By the time they finally stopped talking, she was hoarse from explaining … Read more

How to Make Your Partner Feel Loved: A Gottman Method Exercise for Building Fondness and Admiration

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Couple sitting together sharing written lists of things that make them feel loved as part of Gottman Method fondness and admiration exercise

Most couples know what makes them feel criticized or dismissed by their partner. You can probably rattle off a list without even thinking about it. But here’s what’s interesting: When I ask couples to tell me what their partner does that makes them feel loved, respected, or admired, they often go blank. Or they struggle. … Read more