You ended the last relationship convinced this time would be different. Then you found yourself in the same dynamic again, with someone new. That pattern has a psychological explanation that has nothing to do with weakness or poor judgment. Drawing on Gottman Method research, this article explains why the brain is wired to seek the familiar, why familiar and healthy are not the same thing, and what breaking the cycle actually requires.
It’s Easier to Stay Married than to Get Married Again
All marriages have difficult times that at times can seem overwhelming and confusing. We all ask the question about whether or not it is worth the efforts to stay married. The question of, “Should I stay or should I go” weighs heavily on us. Sometimes, we end up stuck with the conflicting thought that our partner is too good to leave, but too bad to stay.
How to Swim with the “Difficult Sharks” in our Lives
No one wants to swim with sharks. Yet difficult people are, by their very nature, sharks: Aggressive, territorial, and tribal. When we unexpectedly find ourselves dealing with a difficult person, we often give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they will “play fair”. In our desire to “get along with others”, we often just make the situation worse. The hard truth is that we must learn how to identify and respond assertively to difficult people without being “eaten alive”.