The advice arrives from every direction. A friend says it gently over coffee. A book says it with a chapter title. Sometimes a previous therapist said it, and sometimes it is just the voice in your own head at one in the morning: Maybe I expect too much. Maybe this is what marriage actually is, and wanting more is the problem.
Gottman Method
It’s Not That You Fight. It’s What Happens Inside the Fight.
By the time a couple starts wondering whether the marriage is in real trouble, both partners are usually keeping a private tally. Two fights this week. Four last month. One of you counts them as evidence the marriage is failing. The other counts them as evidence that bringing things up only makes it worse. The … Read more
Most of What You’ve Been Told About Failing Marriages Is Wrong
By the time a marriage is in real trouble, both partners usually have a private theory about why. One of you has quietly concluded that the two of you are just too different. The other suspects it traces back to something that happened years ago and never got repaired. Neither theory came from nowhere. They … Read more
The Power Paradox: Why Accepting Your Partner’s Influence Strengthens Your Relationship
What Is Accepting Influence in Relationships? Accepting influence means finding common ground with your partner and saying yes to their ideas, even when you only agree with part of what they’re saying. The Gottman Institute’s research reveals a counterintuitive truth: To hold genuine power in a relationship, you must be willing to share that power. … Read more
When Your Partner Can’t Hear You Anymore: The Hidden Pattern Destroying Conversations
Three hours. That’s how long Sarah found herself trapped in the same argument with her husband on a Tuesday night. She’d launched into explaining her frustration about their weekend plans, and somehow they’d spiraled into every unresolved issue from the past six months. By the time they finally stopped talking, she was hoarse from explaining … Read more