In many relationships, a recurring concern is the lack of trust, leading to the common question, “Why don’t you trust me?” This reflects a fundamental problem in a relationship without trust, where cycles of doubt and misunderstanding erode the bond between partners. Addressing this lack of trust is essential for a secure and healthy connection.
[Read more…] about Without Trust, Your Relationship Will Not Survive the YearGottman Couples Therapist
Fantasy Affairs of the Mind
Relationships are difficult to manage for many reasons. So it is not unusual that people want to run away from life through “Fantasy Games.” At times, relationships can be threatened by how we relate to each other, other people, the fantasies of our minds, and our actions. When one person in the relationship is concerned about the “interpersonal relating aspects” of the marriage, and the other is not as focused on it, then a number of issues have to be considered.
[Read more…] about Fantasy Affairs of the MindHow to Turn Towards a Partner’s Bids for Emotional Connection
It’s important to feel that our partner notices or responds to our needs. This is referred to as “Turning Towards” ones’ “Bids for Connection” in the Gottman literature. Bids for connection include attempts to get our partner’s attention, interest, or support.
[Read more…] about How to Turn Towards a Partner’s Bids for Emotional ConnectionAngry Spouses can be Hazardous to Your Health
Therapists know that living with someone who has an anger control problem is both dangerous to your relationship, personal development, and family, but it also has a direct effect on both your emotional and physical health! If you find yourself in a relationship with an openly angry, or passive-aggressive, mate it is important to understand several factors.
[Read more…] about Angry Spouses can be Hazardous to Your HealthThe Marital Partner that Everybody Likes but Drives You Nuts
Relationships are important to our lives and health. However, some relationships present hazards to our sanity and health in ways that are rarely talked about. In fact, it is hard to believe that the way we relate to each other in a relationship can “induce” rage, anger and reactions in the spouse to the point that it destroys the relationship. Changing these patterns requires understanding some important factors.
[Read more…] about The Marital Partner that Everybody Likes but Drives You NutsHow Can I Trust After an Affair?
Affairs happen for many reasons The main wound is that trust and comfort in the security of the relationship has been shattered. The fact that we all search for security makes any violation of the relationship, either mental, spiritual, or sexual, much more upsetting. Because we are not expecting it, or that it was not part of the assumption about how the relationship would progress and operate, causes traumatic responding. It violates the hopes and expectations that one can be really who they are with another person.
[Read more…] about How Can I Trust After an Affair?How Sex and Affairs Act Like an Antidepressant
What is it that causes people to become involved in extra-marital affairs? There are multiple reasons that affairs happen. What has rarely been explored is how depression is a strong motivating factor in the initiation and continuing nature of affairs. Understanding a number of factors might be of some help in thinking as one finds themselves trapped in temptation.
[Read more…] about How Sex and Affairs Act Like an AntidepressantThe Six Weakest Moments for Affairs
Affairs are difficult for most people to understand. Knowing the vulnerable periods can help in preventing and dealing with them for men and women alike.
[Read more…] about The Six Weakest Moments for AffairsSolutions to Marital Affairs
Affairs are complicated endeavors. Legal proceedings don’t resolve the emotional issues. It is more important to focus on your pain and anger rather than on attacking your spouse as you decide what path you wish to take.
[Read more…] about Solutions to Marital AffairsThe Anatomy of Infidelity and Affairs
We tend to think that infidelity and affairs are all about sex. In reality, affairs are symptoms that sends a message about problems in the relationship. The betrayal of trust from one’s spouse or partner can be one of the most damaging issues to any relationship. Perhaps you suspect your partner of having an affair. Understanding this simple issue will allow you to work on the complex problems of finding solutions.
[Read more…] about The Anatomy of Infidelity and AffairsHow to Say What We Need From our Partner
When we are upset over something with our partner, we tend to know very clearly what we don’t want. Understanding what we really desire without describing what we dislike can propel communication between partners in a more positive, mutual satisfying direction.
[Read more…] about How to Say What We Need From our PartnerCrisis Points of Relationships and Marriage
Marriage is most open to crisis when it is rigid and inflexible. Whatever won’t bend will break, or push others away. Rigid people, who expect specific roles in relationships only create more crises at different relationship developmental points.
How Do I Improve Our Communication Skills?
Learning to communicate together takes practice and time. You have to agree to work on it together and use several important steps. Understanding these important steps will help improve communication between you and your partner.
[Read more…] about How Do I Improve Our Communication Skills?How Will I Know When I am Ready to Date Again?
After a painful divorce or if a relationship falls apart, it is important that we take a honest look and understand why the relationship fell apart to ensure that we are whole and ready before we can be a good partner to someone else.
[Read more…] about How Will I Know When I am Ready to Date Again?Is My Past Trauma Causing Issues in My Marriage?
We have a tendency to believe that our marriage will “always be there” and never be in crisis. We also realize that all relationships have their ups and downs, and this helps prepare us for difficulties down the road. However, when a significant crisis or traumatic event happens, the stability of any relationship can be put in jeopardy.
[Read more…] about Is My Past Trauma Causing Issues in My Marriage?