adapting to change

Difficulty Adapting to Change: A Challenge for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW · Gottman Certified Therapist · Eugene, Oregon

Adult children of dysfunctional families often face a significant challenge when it comes to adapting to change. This difficulty stems from a deep-seated need for control, a coping mechanism developed in childhood to navigate the unpredictable and often chaotic environment of a dysfunctional household. Understanding the roots of this struggle and learning strategies to overcome it are crucial steps in the journey of personal growth and emotional healing.

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“Before therapy I thought I could change people with my love, affection, loyalty, etc. Not only did I think I *could* but I think I thought that it was somehow also my duty to do so. Then I learned about codependency and how it was not my responsibility to change people nor is it possible. I learned that people are who they are and, other than a respectful request, it's best to take people at face value and use boundaries. As a result, I no longer make as much space for people in my life who drain me and do not fill my cup.”

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