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inability to have fun

Inability to Have Fun: How Codependency Hinders Relaxation and Play

Dave Lechnyr, LCSW · Gottman Certified Therapist · Eugene, Oregon

Adult Children have the inability to have fun and relax. It is difficult to sit still and relax. There is a need to do something and keep busy constantly. No one played with them or taught them how to play or even what the rules for playing are. They are afraid to take time off to play; they have to be always always pushing forward. They have to put all their efforts into keeping up and pushing ahead. Life is difficult and stressful because it is hard to just sit back and relax and say, “it’s O.K. to just be me.”

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“Before therapy I thought I could change people with my love, affection, loyalty, etc. Not only did I think I *could* but I think I thought that it was somehow also my duty to do so. Then I learned about codependency and how it was not my responsibility to change people nor is it possible. I learned that people are who they are and, other than a respectful request, it's best to take people at face value and use boundaries. As a result, I no longer make as much space for people in my life who drain me and do not fill my cup.”

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