Therapy Resources and Support for Your Mental Health

Researchers have identified specific patterns that put the relationship at risk of ending. Ask yourself where you would rate yourself and your partner. See if you can change your response style to improve things.

In every relationship, navigating the journey of togetherness involves understanding and managing various emotional and practical aspects that contribute to what we call relationship health. As a Certified Gottman Therapist, I’ve witnessed first-hand how identifying and addressing specific areas within a relationship can lead to profound improvements in how couples connect, communicate, and commit to each other. Let’s delve into some key areas that are vital to strengthening your bond.

The secret to a long-lasting relationship is not just luck or chemistry. Research from Dr. John Gottman has identified a simple but powerful formula, grounded in rigorous scientific study. The essence is straightforward: for every negative interaction you have, aim for at least five positive ones. When you get this balance right, your relationship can thrive.

Emotional and verbal abuse is a topic that doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves. Unlike physical abuse, the scars aren’t easily seen, but they cut deep. Many people don’t even realize they’re caught in an abusive cycle until it’s caused significant emotional damage. This form of abuse thrives in secrecy and ambiguity, making it difficult to understand and confront. But don’t worry, we’re going to demystify it for you, explain why it’s so problematic, and, most importantly, show you the role therapy can play in healing.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen couples stroll into my office, thinking a few tips and tricks are going to fix years of relationship decay. It’s like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound and expecting to walk it off. Spoiler alert: you can’t. That’s because genuine transformation is way different from merely having information. I’ve seen people miss this crucial point over and over, often when it’s far too late to reverse course.

So, if you’re really invested in turning your relationship around, here’s what you need to be doing:

In 1944, the ClA wrote a handbook on how to sabotage an company’s productivity. This secret (now declassified) pamphlet was called “The Simple Sabotage Field Manual” and has several surprising similarities to how couples unsuccessfully communicate.

Research has revealed that a very powerful predictor of relationship stability is whether couples spend time getting to know each other or not. One way to do this is to ask open-ended questions. An open-ended question is a question that can’t be answered by a simple “yes” or “no.” It is a question such as, “How would you like our life to change in the next five years?”

The ultimate goal is to change the way the two of you “move through time” together.