Everyone always hears that advice that talking about problems can help. However, most people really believe that it might be best to say as little as possible about most things. As a result, coming to see a psychologist to “talk about issues” is something that many people resist doing until they absolutely have to. Understanding a few issues can help with this important task.
[Read more…] about I Don’t Want to Be Here: Talking Only Makes it Worse!Therapy Resources and Support for Your Mental Health
Without Trust, Your Relationship Will Not Survive the Year
In many relationships, a recurring concern is the lack of trust, leading to the common question, “Why don’t you trust me?” This reflects a fundamental problem in a relationship without trust, where cycles of doubt and misunderstanding erode the bond between partners. Addressing this lack of trust is essential for a secure and healthy connection.
[Read more…] about Without Trust, Your Relationship Will Not Survive the YearHow to Turn Towards a Partner’s Bids for Emotional Connection
It’s important to feel that our partner notices or responds to our needs. This is referred to as “Turning Towards” ones’ “Bids for Connection” in the Gottman literature. Bids for connection include attempts to get our partner’s attention, interest, or support.
[Read more…] about How to Turn Towards a Partner’s Bids for Emotional ConnectionThe Secret Bullying Behaviors of Others
I’ve been reading about the Verge’s exposé on American luggage-maker Away’s toxic work environment back in 2019, and even now it’s unnerving. It shows how aggressively we can react with denial when faced with overwhelming evidence about our own dysfunctional behavior. And it’s characteristic of a common human phenomenon: Aggressive bullying and “poorly veiled” hostility.
[Read more…] about The Secret Bullying Behaviors of OthersThe Connection Between Trauma and COVID of the early 2020’s
My grandparents grew up during the Great Depression. It changed the way many people coped with life. Which reminds me of this current pandemic, how it’s affecting us, and my grandparent’s vacuum cleaner.
[Read more…] about The Connection Between Trauma and COVID of the early 2020’sTaking Control During a Crisis
Our priorities tend to shift during an unexpected crisis, whether we want to our not. And yet the problems of our life can’t remain on hold forever. How do we handle this added anxiety and navigate the issues we continue to face?
[Read more…] about Taking Control During a CrisisHow Do I Know What I’m Feeling?
Feelings and emotions are central to being human. Sometimes we enjoy them and at other times we are afraid of them in ourselves and others. Understanding emotions allows us to succeed in the areas that matter most to us: Home life, career, and friendships. Yet this doesn’t work the same for those of us that are smarter or more intelligent. Oddly enough, this has nothing to do with luck or the right “connections”.
[Read more…] about How Do I Know What I’m Feeling?Why Don’t I Feel Normal Unless I am Crying or Upset?
What is a normal way to respond to problems? While this varies from person to person, sometimes our response itself creates and contributes to more of the chaos in our lives. Identifying a few key points may help smooth things along.
[Read more…] about Why Don’t I Feel Normal Unless I am Crying or Upset?Why Are Other People So Incompetent?!
Have you ever noticed how other people seem to get in your way, cause more problems, or just seem to be so stupid and incompetent that it “makes your blood boil?” Having to deal with such people, and situations, is very upsetting. It seems like “there are so many of those incompetent people” out there. Understanding how to deal with these situations is critical to your own health.
[Read more…] about Why Are Other People So Incompetent?!How Shame Can Warp Our Lives
The dynamics of shame and embarrassment are central issues in the development of the self in those individuals who have come from dysfunctional families. Understanding a few issues can be helpful in making changes so that these fears will lose their great power in your life.
[Read more…] about How Shame Can Warp Our Lives