Gottman Couples Therapist

After many years together, you might think you’ve got this relationship thing figured out. You can predict each other’s responses, finish each other’s sentences, and probably even know exactly how your next argument will play out. But sometimes that predictability is part of the problem.

What if those communication patterns you’ve developed over the years – the ones that feel as familiar as your morning coffee routine – are actually undermining the connection you’ve built? Dr. John Gottman’s research has identified four specific communication patterns that can erode even the strongest relationships. He calls them The Four Horsemen, and chances are, if you’re like most long-term couples, you’ve been hosting at least a few of them in your relationship without even realizing it.

[Read more…] about The Four Horsemen: It’s Never Too Late to Fight Right

The secret to a long-lasting relationship is not just luck or chemistry. Research from Dr. John Gottman has identified a simple but powerful formula, grounded in rigorous scientific study. The essence is straightforward: for every negative interaction you have, aim for at least five positive ones. When you get this balance right, your relationship can thrive.

[Read more…] about The No-Nonsense Guide to Improving Your Relationship: The 5:1 Ratio Unpacked

Our culture makes such a fuss about “love and marriage” that we find ourselves “losing perspective” about the reality of what is required to make a good relationship. However, marriages (and committed relationships) are ending more frequently these days because “once the love glow comes off” the realities of life are now seen.

[Read more…] about Love is Not Enough

When you’re expecting a baby, it’s a beautiful time, but it can also be a real strain on your relationship if you’re not prepared. The Gottmans have laid out several critical concepts in their book “And Baby Makes Three” that can help keep your relationship strong during this transition.

[Read more…] about What the Gottmans Want New Parents to Understand About Having a Baby

Researchers have identified specific patterns that put the relationship at risk of ending. Ask yourself where you would rate yourself and your partner. See if you can change your response style to improve things.

[Read more…] about Relationship Red Flags and Warning Signs

In every relationship, navigating the journey of togetherness involves understanding and managing various emotional and practical aspects that contribute to what we call relationship health. As a Certified Gottman Therapist, I’ve witnessed first-hand how identifying and addressing specific areas within a relationship can lead to profound improvements in how couples connect, communicate, and commit to each other. Let’s delve into some key areas that are vital to strengthening your bond.

[Read more…] about Understanding Relationship Health: A Guide to Strengthening Your Bond

Are you feeling stuck in patterns that keep your relationship from thriving? You’re not alone. Many couples struggle with communication, emotional connection, and conflict resolution. The good news is that decades of research have revealed not just what healthy relationships look like, but more importantly, what actually creates them.

[Read more…] about Building Stronger Relationships: How 50+ Years of Gottman Research Shows Us What Actually Works

Emotional and verbal abuse is a topic that doesn’t get nearly the attention it deserves. Unlike physical abuse, the scars aren’t easily seen, but they cut deep. Many people don’t even realize they’re caught in an abusive cycle until it’s caused significant emotional damage. This form of abuse thrives in secrecy and ambiguity, making it difficult to understand and confront. But don’t worry, we’re going to demystify it for you, explain why it’s so problematic, and, most importantly, show you the role therapy can play in healing.

[Read more…] about Understanding Emotional and Verbal Abuse: How Therapy Can Help You Heal