What Couple’s Therapy Can’t Do

There are some limitations in what makes couples a good candidate for couple’s therapy.

Some couples begin therapy with both people believing that their problems are caused in large part by their partners. Each person sees himself or herself as the innocent victim of the other person’s bad behavior, and each person hopes that therapy will finally get their parter to change – to listen, to express feelings or to stop nagging and criticizing.

The truth is that a therapist can teach both of you how to communicate and manage conflict. But a therapist cannot make the two of you become friends. That’s why going into therapy to “change” your partner rarely works. You have to assume 100% of the responsibility for the problem – at least for now – in order to benefit the most from therapy.