We have a tendency to believe that our marriage will “always be there” and never be in crisis. We also realize that all relationships have their ups and downs, and this helps prepare us for difficulties down the road. However, when a significant crisis or traumatic event happens, the stability of any relationship can be put in jeopardy.
Gottman Method
Why Does it Hurt So Much When We Fight?
The process of “becoming a couple” is filled with many emotions, feelings, attitudes, risking and identification with another person. Relationship problems happen when these same emotions are injured in any way. When one “sees and hears” much blaming and emotions between a couple, it is clear that there has been an “attachment bond injury” that has to be healed before the relationship can continue and be healed.
Why Do I Keep Choosing the Wrong Person?
You ended the last relationship convinced this time would be different. Then you found yourself in the same dynamic again, with someone new. That pattern has a psychological explanation that has nothing to do with weakness or poor judgment. Drawing on Gottman Method research, this article explains why the brain is wired to seek the familiar, why familiar and healthy are not the same thing, and what breaking the cycle actually requires.
It’s Easier to Stay Married than to Get Married Again
All marriages have difficult times that at times can seem overwhelming and confusing. We all ask the question about whether or not it is worth the efforts to stay married. The question of, “Should I stay or should I go” weighs heavily on us. Sometimes, we end up stuck with the conflicting thought that our partner is too good to leave, but too bad to stay.