Green leaves flowing in the wind

The Marital Partner that Everybody Likes but Drives You Nuts

Relationships are important to our lives and health. However, some relationships present hazards to our sanity and health in ways that are rarely talked about. In fact, it is hard to believe that the way we relate to each other in a relationship can “induce” rage, anger and reactions in the spouse to the point that it destroys the relationship. Changing these patterns requires understanding some important factors.

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Person standing at a rain-streaked window at night with a wedding ring visible, looking out with a distant expression

Why Affairs Happen: The Psychology of Infidelity and What It Actually Means

Affairs are rarely what they appear to be on the surface. The other person, the attraction, the opportunity: these are almost never the real explanation. What looks like a choice is usually the end point of a long process the couple was not paying attention to. This article draws on decades of Gottman Institute research and clinical work to explain what actually drives affairs, what needs they are attempting to meet, and what an affair usually signals about the state of the relationship long before it happened.

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Couple sitting across from each other at a kitchen table, one speaking earnestly with open hands while the other listens

How to Say What We Need From Our Partner

Most relationship arguments are not really about what they appear to be about. Underneath the conflict about dishes, schedules, or tone of voice is usually a need that was never expressed directly. Learning to say what you actually need, rather than what you are upset about, is one of the single most effective communication shifts a couple can make. This article explains the Gottman Method approach to expressing needs positively and why this one change can shift how a couple communicates across the board.

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Green leaves flowing in the wind

Is My Past Trauma Causing Issues in My Marriage?

We have a tendency to believe that our marriage will “always be there” and never be in crisis. We also realize that all relationships have their ups and downs, and this helps prepare us for difficulties down the road. However, when a significant crisis or traumatic event happens, the stability of any relationship can be put in jeopardy.

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