We usually “mean well” and want to be “helpful.” In fact, in many ways this helps us to work and solve problems together. However, there are times that the ways in which we help other people may actually cause more problems that we solve. This can happen even if we do it out of genuine love and concern. Understanding this concept is critical to our ability to develop healthy lives, friendships and families.
The Marital Partner that Everybody Likes but Drives You Nuts
Relationships are important to our lives and health. However, some relationships present hazards to our sanity and health in ways that are rarely talked about. In fact, it is hard to believe that the way we relate to each other in a relationship can “induce” rage, anger and reactions in the spouse to the point that it destroys the relationship. Changing these patterns requires understanding some important factors.
How Can I Trust Again After an Affair? A Gottman Therapist Explains
Infidelity can shatter the foundation of a relationship, leaving both partners struggling to find a path forward. This comprehensive guide offers a straightforward approach to understanding the impact of affairs and rebuilding trust, drawing on principles from the Gottman Method and other evidence-based practices in couples therapy.
Why Affairs Happen: The Psychology of Infidelity and What It Actually Means
Affairs are rarely what they appear to be on the surface. The other person, the attraction, the opportunity: these are almost never the real explanation. What looks like a choice is usually the end point of a long process the couple was not paying attention to. This article draws on decades of Gottman Institute research and clinical work to explain what actually drives affairs, what needs they are attempting to meet, and what an affair usually signals about the state of the relationship long before it happened.
How to Say What We Need From Our Partner
Most relationship arguments are not really about what they appear to be about. Underneath the conflict about dishes, schedules, or tone of voice is usually a need that was never expressed directly. Learning to say what you actually need, rather than what you are upset about, is one of the single most effective communication shifts a couple can make. This article explains the Gottman Method approach to expressing needs positively and why this one change can shift how a couple communicates across the board.