Self-Help

Have you ever wondered why you seem to make “poor choices” in relationships? Why your life is not working out the best? In order to have a healthy and more positive romance with someone, it’s urgent that you learn some critical relationship concepts regarding quick solutions, dependency and the fear of “being alone”.

[Read more…] about How to Spend Your Life with the Wrong Person by Being Afraid to be Alone

Assertiveness is a crucial interpersonal skill that involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs, and opinions in a respectful and direct manner, while also respecting the rights and boundaries of others. It’s finding a balance between being passive (not expressing yourself) and aggressive (expressing yourself at the expense of others).

[Read more…] about Assertiveness & Boundaries

Drama, suffering, self-defeating statements, living in and for crises, upsets and problems can make it difficult to change and grow. When everything is part of the “Soap Opera of Life” we get trapped in the “never ending drama” of responding.

[Read more…] about The Martyr Complex & Psychological Drama

We always want change to happen quickly, easily, and without pain. However, the truth of the matter is that change is never as simple or forgiving as you might expect. In order to navigate it without crashing and burning as you struggle, understanding how change does and doesn’t work can make a significant difference in your quest.

[Read more…] about The 10 Simple (but not Easy) Rules for Change

If you’re feeling like your life is spinning out of control, it’s time to take charge. But not in the way you think. In fact, before you actually make any changes, you need to begin with being brutally honest with yourself. I don’t mean paying attention to all of the lies you tell yourself about your self-worth or your limitations. Instead, you have to know what you’re feeling, without spinning out of control in a panic. Trust me – this will feel worse before it gets better. But in the end, you’ll gain the critical skill of self-awareness that will ultimately change everything in your entire approach to life.

[Read more…] about To Take Control of your Life, Start by Being Brutally Honest with Yourself

Everyone always hears that advice that talking about problems can help. However, most people really believe that it might be best to say as little as possible about most things. As a result, coming to see a psychologist to “talk about issues” is something that many people resist doing until they absolutely have to. Understanding a few issues can help with this important task.

[Read more…] about I Don’t Want to Be Here: Talking Only Makes it Worse!

I’ve been reading about the Verge’s exposé on American luggage-maker Away’s toxic work environment back in 2019, and even now it’s unnerving. It shows how aggressively we can react with denial when faced with overwhelming evidence about our own dysfunctional behavior. And it’s characteristic of a common human phenomenon: Aggressive bullying and “poorly veiled” hostility.

[Read more…] about The Secret Bullying Behaviors of Others

My grandparents grew up during the Great Depression. It changed the way many people coped with life. Which reminds me of this current pandemic, how it’s affecting us, and my grandparent’s vacuum cleaner.

[Read more…] about The Connection Between Trauma and COVID of the early 2020’s

Our priorities tend to shift during an unexpected crisis, whether we want to our not. And yet the problems of our life can’t remain on hold forever. How do we handle this added anxiety and navigate the issues we continue to face?

[Read more…] about Taking Control During a Crisis

Feelings and emotions are central to being human. Sometimes we enjoy them and at other times we are afraid of them in ourselves and others. Understanding emotions allows us to succeed in the areas that matter most to us: Home life, career, and friendships. Yet this doesn’t work the same for those of us that are smarter or more intelligent. Oddly enough, this has nothing to do with luck or the right “connections”.

[Read more…] about How Do I Know What I’m Feeling?

What is a normal way to respond to problems? While this varies from person to person, sometimes our response itself creates and contributes to more of the chaos in our lives. Identifying a few key points may help smooth things along.

[Read more…] about Why Don’t I Feel Normal Unless I am Crying or Upset?

Have you ever noticed how other people seem to get in your way, cause more problems, or just seem to be so stupid and incompetent that it “makes your blood boil?” Having to deal with such people, and situations, is very upsetting. It seems like “there are so many of those incompetent people” out there. Understanding how to deal with these situations is critical to your own health.

[Read more…] about Why Are Other People So Incompetent?!

The dynamics of shame and embarrassment are central issues in the development of the self in those individuals who have come from dysfunctional families. Understanding a few issues can be helpful in making changes so that these fears will lose their great power in your life.

[Read more…] about How Shame Can Warp Our Lives

We all want to be fair, kind and loving to the people that we care about. Sometimes that means going out of our way for them. At other times, it means putting up with a certain amount of crap. In the long run, we hope and bet on the odds that it’s worth it for our relationship to have a little give-and-take. However, giving out love without any personal boundaries can be extremely dangerous and carries extreme risk to our own sense of self and others.

[Read more…] about Consequences of Not Having Personal Boundaries