Have you ever had a gut feeling that something in your marriage was amiss, but it would take some time for all to sink in right? Well, intuition has always been our best friend. In these days when the internet is rife with all sorts of dating services and adulterous spouses roam about looking to strike down marriages in order to supplement their home life with another partner, if we have doubts about our partner’s fidelity then we should pay attention, because infidelity can destroy a relationship.
[Read more…] about 8 Marriage Intuitive Clues To Catch a Cheating Spouse (and Save Your Marriage)Therapist Resources for Your Journey
How Not to be Blocked When Doing an Intervention
A.K.A, “Handling Questions Designed to Put You On the Spot and Them Out of the Spot”.
Interventions are extremely uncomfortable to do. Your main job is to try to help them to see that they can no longer continue to live in “the denial of the present reality.” Chances are they will get upset and object – this is designed to put you on the defensive and to take the focus off of themselves. Remember, the person you are confronting has had years of practice in avoiding dealing with their problems. A few ideas might help you in this process.
[Read more…] about How Not to be Blocked When Doing an InterventionTrust Problems in Dysfunctional Families
Why do some adults have more struggles in life than others? Many times it relates to how dysfunction “entered” their childhood family. Such problems can arise from abuse, neglect, psychological abuse, immature parents, secrets in the family that impact others or an overwhelming sense of insecurity in the home environment. Understanding a few things might help in clarifying this tricky situation.
[Read more…] about Trust Problems in Dysfunctional FamiliesWhy Emotionally-Based Reasoning Fails
The reason that many people don’t solve problems is that they “personalize” everything that is said to them. They relate what is happening to some fear, some event, past memory, problem, or so forth, from the past that is “evoked” in the present by what another person says. As a result, discussions with people like this are never easy as they are always personalized based on fears and emotions, without any real future focus.
[Read more…] about Why Emotionally-Based Reasoning FailsHow to want what you can’t have and keep getting what you don’t want
We tend to have expectations that others should meet our needs or treat us in a certain way. Yet we act surprised when they continually disappoint us. The reality is we need to start paying attention to other people’s patterns of behavior. Acknowledge that everyone has limitations.
[Read more…] about How to want what you can’t have and keep getting what you don’t wantHow to Make Sure That No One Can Ever Get Close to You
Why do some people verbally “attack” others in a relationship? When someone’s behavior changes like this to the irrational and bizarre, it is often not due to some unexplained physical or emotional cause. In fact, the real reason is more surprising than you’d think.
[Read more…] about How to Make Sure That No One Can Ever Get Close to YouHow to Keep Yourself So Busy That There is no Time Left to Face Your Problems
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be comfortable and safe in life. However, when we find ourselves devoting much of our efforts into finding ways to avoid our feelings or to always be comfortable, then something may be wrong. Understanding a few issues might be of some help.
[Read more…] about How to Keep Yourself So Busy That There is no Time Left to Face Your ProblemsHow to Spend Your Life with the Wrong Person by Being Afraid to be Alone
Have you ever wondered why you seem to make “poor choices” in relationships? Why your life is not working out the best? In order to have a healthy and more positive romance with someone, it’s urgent that you learn some critical relationship concepts regarding quick solutions, dependency and the fear of “being alone”.
[Read more…] about How to Spend Your Life with the Wrong Person by Being Afraid to be AloneHow to Gain Instant Success by Having No Boundaries
Psychological boundaries are central to personal development and healthy functioning. Sometime the trouble we get into when relating to others involves “blurred, confused, or fused” limits when we, or others, violate the established boundaries. To be healthy, it is vital that we know how to maintain our own, and respect the personal boundaries of others.
[Read more…] about How to Gain Instant Success by Having No BoundariesAssertiveness & Boundaries
Assertiveness is a crucial interpersonal skill that involves expressing your thoughts, feelings, needs, and opinions in a respectful and direct manner, while also respecting the rights and boundaries of others. It’s finding a balance between being passive (not expressing yourself) and aggressive (expressing yourself at the expense of others).
[Read more…] about Assertiveness & BoundariesThe Martyr Complex & Psychological Drama
Drama, suffering, self-defeating statements, living in and for crises, upsets and problems can make it difficult to change and grow. When everything is part of the “Soap Opera of Life” we get trapped in the “never ending drama” of responding.
[Read more…] about The Martyr Complex & Psychological Drama“Dry Drunk” Behaviors
Addiction of any type is a serious problem. However, effective treatment requires more than “just stopping” the use of drugs or alcohol. The reality is that when someone “just stops” their addiction, many of the behaviors that “got them into trouble” are “still active.” This “dry drunk” lifestyle is still addictive, even though they may have stopped drinking or using drugs. They are addicted to activities and avoiding real intimacy in their relationships by being unavailable to their partner and the family.
[Read more…] about “Dry Drunk” BehaviorsThe Danger of Enmeshed Families
Therapists have long been concerned with helping families develop healthy ways of caring and relating to one another. After all, it’s important that we care for others and are connected to them for healthy growth. However, there are certain types of “caring” that can interfere with healthy growth patterns for all members of the family.
[Read more…] about The Danger of Enmeshed FamiliesWhy Optimism Works
Let’s look at the science behind optimism. Specifically, let’s review the results of the Optimism-Pessimism Scale from a sampling of patients who had taken the MMPI Psychological Test between 1962 and 1965.
[Read more…] about Why Optimism WorksThe 10 Simple (but not Easy) Rules for Change
We always want change to happen quickly, easily, and without pain. However, the truth of the matter is that change is never as simple or forgiving as you might expect. In order to navigate it without crashing and burning as you struggle, understanding how change does and doesn’t work can make a significant difference in your quest.
[Read more…] about The 10 Simple (but not Easy) Rules for Change